FINDING LOVE IN ALL THE WEIRD PLACES
She Finally Saw the Light and Broke Up — With Her Hard Pants
We are her pull-on pants and we couldn’t be happier
Her name is G. My name is Pinny; I’m a pair of navy blue pinstriped Krazy Larry pull-on dress pants.
It will be two years this September since G found me on Poshmark while searching for “pull-on dress pants,” filtered for “new with tags,” “my sizes,” “straight leg,” and “solid colors.” She wasn’t the only one; soft pants have been flying off warehouse shelves since something humans call “lockdown” started in early 2020. Our more casual cousins — leggings, sweatpants, pajama pants, and joggers — were the first wave as people worked from home and nobody could see them from the waist down.
Then, as some offices reopened, many humans — both female and male — started buying pull-on dress pants.
When Pinny met G
My first owner Rae in Wyoming bought me when she was on vacation in Florida. When she got me home, she tried me on but I was just a bit too small. Fortunately, I still had my tags, so she listed me on Poshmark and then, when G bought me, Rae gently wrapped me in pink-and-white polka dot tissue, packed me in a small flat rate box, and mailed me to California. The trip from Wyoming was okay, though I did have a scare near the end when a 100-pound bookshelf in another box fell over and nearly killed me. Thankfully, I survived to tell this important tale.
G smiled at the cute pink paper as she unwrapped me, then pulled me on. I’m a 6, so she was surprised when I fit perfectly, even loosely, despite her recent stress pounds. It was love at first sight. We’re a perfect match. Both very organized, me with my neat pinstripes, G in other ways. Her closet is arranged by clothing type — blouses, pants, jeans, dresses, cardigans, and blazers — and each type by ROYGBV. If you’re not artsy, that’s pronounced Roy G. Biv and means red-orange-yellow-green-blue-violet, like the color spectrum of a rainbow. She uses an elaborate spreadsheet to plan her daily work outfits, a whole other story I might share some day. My kind of woman.
