THIS WORKS FOR ME
Reversing the Spiral of Acute Self-Loathing
Because a new year is a terrible thing to waste
Should people get a one-time asshole pass? By people, I mean me.
My mood was inexplicably sour this morning as I walked up to the checkout line at the market to buy my lunch. The newly risen sun blasted my eyes through the high window of the store. I could see nothing from where I was standing. The people ahead of me, who’d been right behind me twice as I shopped, somehow beat me to the checkout counter and were taking forever to pay for three or four groceries. Time crawled. As the minutes rose, so did my irritation and concern. I was going to be late for work.
Eventually, finally, they paid and left the store, returning a moment later to ask for a bag for their groceries. It was finally my turn. Seeing no one in either of the aisles serving as check-out queues, I took a step toward the cashier, and, seemingly from nowhere, two men appeared. One of them told me the other was “way, way ahead of me” in line. I asked the man in question if that was true, and he said yes. I waved him to the cashier and stepped back, with the man who’d stood up for him still in my space, too close.
I then asked him if he was also ahead of me, and he said yes.
