Member-only story
RANTS IN STRANGE PLACES
I’m Your Office Keyboard And We’re Done
I’m not taking another minute of this abuse
Psst. Over here! No, HERE! Right in front of you!
We need to talk. Oh, don’t look so shocked, and stop pretending you can’t hear me. This isn’t the first time one of us has called you out.
Yo. Down here. HERE! Your keyboard. Take off the stupid AirPods and listen up.
I know we’re not exclusive. There’s me, and your bit on the side. Yeah, the one in the home office. Wait — there’s another one? I’ll unpack that later.
We’re talking. NOW. And this is your last chance.
Listen. If you don’t meet my demands, I’m outta here. And the monitor, phone, headset, and mouse walk too. If you want to do Gantt charts, databases, and matrices on that tiny 11-inch keyboard and screen, no function or number keys or shortcuts, be my guest. Taking calls on janky VoIP, yelling into your computer’s mic to drown out the background noise? C’mon! That doesn’t make you look stupid…
