Humans Think They’re So Smart But They Say Stupid Things

A tale from the dog bed, by Jessie A.

Barbara Andres
7 min readMay 5, 2022


A small black and white Jack Russell type dog in a dog bed. A Grain of Infinfity
Photo by author — all rights reserved

Tales from the Dog Bed is a series by Jessie A., an 8-pound big-eared big-hearted terrier mix. Jessie loves to talk about her lives. Not just her life today, in Santa Monica, but also her past lives, which she remembers as though they were yesterday. Jessie has been everywhere and done everything — and she wants you to know it.

Bea, Jessie’s she-human (AKA, The Housekeeper)


I know it’s been a while. My human, Bea, has been bogarting the little MacBook for weeks, and that’s the only computer I can use because my paws are so small. And Bea’s not even using the computer for anything sensible like buying toys or treats! Instead, she’s been buying stuff for the new house they bought, paying bills, shopping for clothes and shoes for herself, doing applications for grad school and a promotion at work, and other boring stuff.

She has also been publishing more on Medium, and lordy, is she slow. I heard her say she rarely publishes more than eight or ten articles a month, which means it takes her at least THREE DAYS to write something.

Since I haven’t been able to type, I’ve been voice recording notes on Bea’s Aye Phone and thinking about coming out of retirement. As an entertainer, that is. Our new other house is in Lost Wages, which I hear has many clubs and stages that need performers.

Our he-human Kay has been going to the new place a week at a time to work on the house while we all stay here and Bea works. He’s been there four times but it’s still not ready because he keeps finding new things that need to be done. Like now, he’s building a closet system in the walk-in closet in the main bedroom. I hope while he’s at it, he builds me a she-shed on the balcony. I don’t need much, just a roof, four walls, some nice upholstered furniture, and a 32-inch flat screen TV so I can watch “Too Cute” on Animal Planet and reminisce about my puppyhood. And maybe a lap pool.

I heard Bea say he’ll be done with the work soon and then we’ll all go there at least once or twice before they rent it out. The next time we go, I’m…



Barbara Andres

Muddling through, one story at a time. Grab a cup of tea, pull up a chair, and let’s get curious together.