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THE ROOT OF THE MATTER
How Do You Handle Conflict?
I avoided my difficult parents for years so I guess I really am a mouse. Or a turtle.
Recently, I took a quiz on my conflict resolution style as part of a course at Colorado State University (CU) Denver where I’m working on my Master’s in Public Administration. I’ve met myself, so I wasn’t surprised to find myself landing sqaure in the “avoidant” category.
According to an article by David Ludden, Ph.D. in Psychology Today, the way we respond to conflict goes back to our attachment style, developed when we were tiny. Some of us felt a lack of love or attention from our parents, and those who would later be avoidant of conflict handled it by withdrawing and self-soothing.
My pacifiers were stories. And, because I wanted to take care of myself, I learned to read early and got a library card so I could read all the books. All those nights in my room with a book or three, I could imagine myself as a character in a Gothic romance. Endangered, pursued, and eventually thoroughly loved.
As for avoiding conflict, I’ve been consistent, and I’ve followed in my father’s footsteps.
My parents spent years in a marriage on life support. They finally pulled the plug when I was 17. Dad would…
